Going From 1 To 2: Things I Absolutely Do Not Do

Being a mom of two littles is hard! My two are less that 24 months apart, so they both still need me. Being the younger sibling of a very active older brother, I remember hearing the same excuses: “we can’t because your brother…”. SO, now that I am a mom of two, I thought long and hard about the things I wanted to (try to) encourage and actions to avoid while they are little. I hope by sharing this list it can help you and your oldest adjust to your ever-changing world. 

1. Never the newborn’s fault: I never use the newborn as an excuse for something negative to my toddler. For example, I never say we cannot go outside because he is sleeping or eating. When we can’t do what she wants, I steer the blame to myself. I say “we can go out once I go to the bathroom” or “we can go in a little bit. mom just needs a quick break”. 
2. Watch the tone: I try not to be short with my toddler because I am tired. Some moments are super challenging especially when my toddler starts yelling her “go go go” song the second she wakes up. In these moments, I take a very deep breath and think to myself, “on a good day would I be upset”. I would say 80% of the time this allows me to check myself and use the moment as a teaching moment, so we can prevent negative situations from repeating.
3. A little rain doesn’t stop us: I do not let the rain or bad weather stunt her growth and raise my blood pressure. I prep quiet things we can do inside and have them ready to go on the fly. This winter has been the coldest and rainiest winter I have ever experienced in California. Having a newborn and a toddler was exhausting but with the rain and cold weather on top, bleh. I thought I was going to go crazy some days. Having these “go-to” activities were a lifesaver for the whole family. (Subscribe for our newsletter and follow me on instagram for some of these activities) 
4. Keep them close: I do not let her go anywhere without me or my husband. I am not someone who typically sends my oldest with anyone, so I made sure I did not get pressured into allowing others to “take her off my hands.” For me personally, I felt it would be harder for me with my postpartum hormones, and I worried it would send the wrong message to my toddler. I never want my daughter to think we send her away because we now have her brother.
5. Time actions with thought: I did not start her in school or day care right before or right after the baby was born. I did not want my toddler to feel pushed aside or replaced by the newborn. I worked to include her as much as possible and I felt sending her away for the first time would make her feel excluded or replaced.

Reminder: Every child is unique and wonderful in different ways. These tips won’t work for everyone. If just one or two of these ideas help you, that’s success! Don’t forget to follow me for more updates on my journey through motherhood.